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I was having a conversation last night with two really awesome people, they know who they are. We were talking about how different a person's sort of modus operati is socially from being single to being in a relationship. It was a light conversation which brought my attention to the fact that it's something other people actually identify with. I wasn't alone in noticing the stark differences between the two.
Without any further ado, I shall list some of the differences I can think about. See if you recognize some of them. By the way, when I say We, I mean being involved and when I say Me, I mean single.
Me:
- Less forgiving to potential suitors.
- Bro before hos and sistas before mistas.
- Party more.
- Make an effort to see friends.
- Willing to make mistakes.
- Have fun by yourself out/Get Cabin Fever by yourself in.
We:
- More tolerant to our current partner.
- "I'll have to check with my girlfriend." (Don't know if this applies the other way round gender-wise)
- Warm night in watching series.
- Make an effort to see partner.
- Freaked out at making mistakes.
- Enjoy staying in together.
Now nothing on these lists are meant to sound good or bad, but rather both. They can be a good thing and they can be a bad thing. For example, too many warm nights in watching series makes that stale and if you don't communicate that, you could be a Me very soon. However, if you're a Me and you make to many mistakes, then you might not walk away from them while making the right mistakes means learning.
The fact is, the Me persona and the We persona both have their own schools of learning. Stuck in a We situation for too long and you won't know how to be a Me and you'll have to learn and/or catchup. Stuck being a Me for too long and you could become an insensitive womanizing arsehole (I've met my fair share). I'm not saying, you shouldn't be a We for long before breaking up so you can develop as a Me though don't get me wrong.
What I am saying is that even as a We, you should still make time to be a Me. Got out with mates, have a piss up and make mistakes (the right ones). It will do wonders for your relationship when you're a strong Me, because your partner will appreciate your confidence and strength in your own skin. On the polar side of that, even as a Me you should perhaps try out some of the MO of a We. Such as tolerance, avoiding the crazy mistakes and being considerate to others (as you might be to a partner).
And at the end, you can decide which works better for you, until you meet that one that breaks all the rules. You'll know that one when you meet them, but by that time you can throw all this shit out the window and just work it out.
