Gather round boys and girls, I'm about to tell you a story about inhibitions lost. If there are any amount of typos in today's blog it's probably because I'm fighting back an amount of...well looseness if you know what I mean. Tonight I had maybe one to many or indeed just enough.
See tonight, after work, I went out and I had a good time. I drank without worry about being the sober one. I spoke my mind like there was no tomorrow (which unfortunately there is and it has a 5am calltime). I went out to drown my sorrows and realized in the depths of sorrow that there wasn't much sorrow there at all. Of course right now there is an area in my life a part of me wishes it still had, but on the whole I'm having this certain level of freedom that feels like I've broken out of Arrested Development.
Up to this point in my life I was lacking in the practical things in life. I was not utilizing my potential in my career, passion and ambition in work. If I felt down in that area, I always had the crutch (the so called love of my life) to catch me. Turns out that's not really a good place to be. When I lost that crutch it became a case of sink or swim. It just so happens I'm swimming! Sure I wish I had that crutch and a large portion of me wishes to be held and loved like before, but for better or worse that crutch is gone for good and so be it.
I'm discovering myself all over again, what I like, who I am and why I have so much to give. Being dependent on someone can be a wonderful experience if that person believes in you, but if that person drops you like a bad habit and you don't believe in yourself...then you're pretty much done for. I felt that way for awhile, but I know now that I am worth more. I have a lot to offer and I am going to be happy by myself. I don't deserve to be beaten down and I will find myself and someone who loves me for all I am.
Be privileged, this is as drunk as blogs get and as honest as a person can be. I don't know exactly who I am at this point in time, but I'm looking forward to finding out. It's NOW that this blog will get interesting and I will dissect my own character to discover what I'm capable of and I thank you for sharing this most personal moments with me.
PS: Canada, I love you. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for sharing your opinion too, we'll pick up the tab.